I pitched and got pummeled. It was a good experience.
Barbara Boyle came to an event for the screenwriters project and we all got to try pitching our stories to her. She was merciless.
Barbara has an unbelievable resume. She was an english major at Berkeley and got a law degree from UCLA when women just didn't do that. She even had a professor tell her it was irresponsible of her to study law because she was taking a spot away from a man when she was just going to get married and have babies. She told him that men get married and have children, but they still keep right on being attorneys.
She has been an entertainment attorney, a VP at New World Pictures, Orion, and RKO, and President of Sovereign Pictures and Valhalla Motion Pictures. She produced a pile of films including Bottle Rocket and Phenomenon. Now she is the chair of the Film department at UCLA.
Barbara talked 100 miles per hour and dominated every conversation. She was obviously looking for every possible reason to shoot down the pitches after a couple of words. I watched her rip apart writer after writer, and I thought about not even getting up to pitch at all. I would have an excuse. I hadn't participated in anything with the screenwriters project for almost a year. This was my first time back and nobody probably expected me to have anything ready.
But I had a story to pitch, and I think it's a strong one, so I took my punches. When it was my turn I sat down and said, "Ok, what i got is..." and she said "what you GOT?" big mistake on my part. She was an english major. She's an attorney. When she says you have to speak her vernacular she doesn't just mean movie lingo or legal terminology. She also means you must express yourself intelligently. Speak as someone who is at least moderately educated. But the truth is that entire phrase was filler and I should have dropped it. Make every word count. Plan out your pitch word for word.
I smiled and apologized. "What I HAVE is a feature film, supernatural thriller. It's a modern adaptation of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde." I started to introduce my main character, "Jack Lereaux is a police detective who has a phobia of..." and she cut me off. "It's Jekyll and Hyde. He's the villain and he kills himself in the end. I know the whole story and that's either what you're looking for or not."
"So maybe I shouldn't start off by saying it's Jekyll and Hyde? Just start with the story?"
"No, it doesn't matter. I know the whole thing. You say that much, you're done."
At this point I got snippy and said, "OK. Thanks." and made like I was going to get up and leave.
She said something more about him killing himself in the end and asked me if that's what happens. I told her about my ending, but then I went on because I had been making mental notes about her comments all night.
I had recognized earlier in the session while she was ripping apart other people's pitches that she gets passionate about films considering big questions. She started talking about films digging into real questions and raising issues about humanity and our lives and said that was what made independent film great.
I knew my story didn't fit her type of film. She produces intelligent films with a lot of heart. She's not a horror fan. So after I told her my ending, I went on and told her I thought there was something great about approaching the question of what you do when the darkness is inside you.
She said, "You kill yourself" like it was obvious, but she also looked at me like she was re-appraising me. I think when I sat down and started with awful grammar followed by a pitch for a horror film, she immediately decided who I was, and when I started discussing my film like literature I regained a little in her estimation.
It was the next morning before I recognized that Barbara's approach the entire night was exactly the approach of a law professor. It's a confrontational, impatient version of the Socratic method. Which tells me there's a good chance she just wants people to stand up and make the case for their film. Earn her respect. She's not being a jerk, so don't fire back at her, or you'll be the only one being a jerk. But when she says something doesn't work, tell her why you think it does work.
That is, if your script works.
But when she questions something and says it doesn't work, don't just take her word as scripture. She's challenging you. Rise to the challenge.
The things I should have said?
There are pros and cons to remaking a literary classic. Yes, you know the ending, but it became a classic because you have a theme, characters, a concept that resonates with people. And no matter how many versions of Romeo and Juliet I had seen on stage and screen, there was still room for Baz Luhrman's version, which I for one absolutely loved. And if you really get what made it resonate with people, you can remake a classic and make an incredible film, especially if your interpretation is original. If you can come up with West Side Story out of Romeo and Juliet or make Clueless out of Emma, you will have a hit.
And I should have disagreed with her kneejerk assessment that when the darkness is inside you the answer is to kill yourself. The whole reason this novel resonates with people is because every one of us has a little bit of that darkness inside us. It's the dark urge that makes us rage at other drivers or take out our frustrations on the kid that gets our order wrong at Starbucks. It's the compulsion that makes us fail at quitting smoking or keep eating the junk food we've sworn off. It's the dark corner of our soul that allows us to shut off our compassion when we need to and justify our misdeeds. Just because every one of us has the darkness inside us doesn't mean the answer is to line up the human race and drink the Jim Jones kool-aid.
And just because the original ends with Jekyll's suicide doesn't mean every film version has to stick to that. How many versions of Frankenstein end with Dr. Frankenstein so obsessed with revenge against the monster that he chases it to the polar ice caps, where the doctor dies and the monster sneaks onto his ship to spend the night lovingly holding the doctor's lifeless body? Because that's how the novel ends.
I think I learned a few lessons that will help me pitch better next time. And even after having her ream my idea, I still believe it's a solid script that I want to see through the whole process. I don't know if very many of the other writers can say that after the things she had to say to them.
